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What If I Harmed My Children?

What If?: I Harmed My Children

When my daughter Ariana changed before my eyes at four years of age in the week following a vaccination, I was forced into research, into looking at all I believed. What I found was truly eye opening.

We are all biased. We have a bias based on our current beliefs or assumptions, many of which we have been told over and over again since we were born. The trick is to question our beliefs and assumptions, to see if they stand up to scrutiny. When we look at them are we happy that they are solid, scientific facts. I did not always know this and so I harmed my children.

I am a mother who wants the best for her children, to protect and keep them safe, the same as other mothers, because we love them. But what if I made mistakes? I now know that I did, grievous ones and now we live with the consequences, one of my children has Asperger’s and one has Type 1 diabetes. You see, I based the health care of my children on beliefs and assumptions with which I had grown up. I believed and I assumed that vaccines were safe.

I did try to ask questions about vaccines, but this was back in the 1990s and I did not have access to the Internet and I did not realize that I had a bias. I did not look at my belief that vaccines were safe, I could not find unbiased scientific proof to support this and I was not shown any by the doctors or the government who were also reinforcing this assumption.

When my daughter Ariana changed before my eyes at four years of age in the week following a vaccination, I was forced into research, into looking at all I believed. What I found was truly eye opening. I found that all the scientific information that our doctors and governments have on drugs and vaccines, and on which they are basing their beliefs, comes either directly or indirectly from the manufacturers of those same drugs and vaccines.

If I made up a cocktail of a dash of formaldehyde, a pinch of virus, a drop of monkey DNA, a sliver of DNA from an aborted human fetus, a few other ingredients for good measure, gave it a stir with a spoon—thereby introducing stray bits of bacteria—and then gave it to you in a bottle and told you it was perfectly safe because the bloke down the road in the laboratory, whom I had paid, certified it so, would you drink it? No, of course not. You would think I was mad and I would probably be had up for attempted manslaughter.

Yet, this is what I did when I vaccinated my babies. I put into their beautifully perfect little bodies these same ingredients, and more, based on safety data that the manufacturer had funded, directly or indirectly, and given to those in authority whose job it is to make sure that vaccines and drugs are “safe.”

When I started to research drugs and vaccines, I found that there were many who questioned the safety of both, including doctors and scientists. I also found out that while some diseases had been prolific killers in the early 1900s, they were no longer so today. Take measles, for example. In the early 1900s to 1918, in the United Kingdom, measles was responsible for 10-12,000 deaths a year but by 1960 it was responsible for 100 deaths a year in the UK; a 90% decrease before any vaccine for measles was introduced. Yet today one of the adverse effects listed for Merck’s MMR 11 vaccine is Diabetes Mellitus (Type 1 diabetes).

If we search the Vaccine Adverse Event Reporting System (VAERS) database, and remember that it is estimated that only 6% of adverse effects are reported, we find that since 1980 there have been over 100,000 adverse effects reported including permanent disabilities and deaths for MMR vaccines. So, as parents, we need to decide which we are more concerned about, a disease whose mortality rate had dropped by 90% before the vaccine was introduced, or, the vaccine which does cause adverse effects including deaths and permanent disabilities.

Questioning ones beliefs and assumptions, I found, was a very frightening thing, it rocked the foundations of my world but I also wished that I had done it sooner. I wished that someone had told me their story of why they questioned our current medical beliefs. I know why they did not, because it is heartbreaking to face it all again and difficult to write it with a positive, inspiring outlook. So I thought I would try, so that maybe I could help others avoid our heartbreak and give them some of the information that I had found out along the way, so that they had a starting point.

Everyone has the right to make an informed choice when it comes to their children’s health care. To decide what they feel is right to put into their bodies from food, to drugs, to vaccines. They also need to know what it is like to live daily with health challenges which are now being listed as adverse effects of vaccines or have long been attributed to being caused by a vaccine by parents. When we have this information, we can make informed choice on whether to vaccinate. That is our right and we need to respect that right. No one person or group has the right to force another person or group to bow to their beliefs or biases.


Note: Kelly CS Johnson is the author of the book What If?: I Harmed My Children. She lives in Ireland.

8 Responses to What If I Harmed My Children?

  1. Not for sale Reply

    April 7, 2016 at 3:30 pm

    This is a medical ethics argument at it’s core. Any licensed individual whom advocates for removal of informed consent, should have their license yanked by a professional ethics committee immediately. You won’t make headway fighting the companies themselves, they’re too big and too insulated by now. However, the credibility of the so called experts can be removed via professional ethics and grand jury type actions. Food for thought. The solution to an unethical engagement, is to re establish proper ethics. Fire whom ever it takes. Remove as many licenses as it takes. Assemble as many grand juries as it takes.

  2. Kelly CS Johnson Reply

    April 7, 2016 at 6:52 am

    Thank you to all who have read my opinion editorial. To those of you who have commented I thank you for your support and comments. I feel that it is important to show the other side, what it is like to live as a vaccine harmed child, what it is like for the family and that is what I aim to show in my book so that people can understand how important it is to look at the information first before making a choice, to make an informed choice. Also that there is hope for finding healing modalities to help these children, though not from the conventional route, so one needs to search a little deeper and remember that no one modality will be the answer for all, so keep looking and trying. Hope is what keeps us going and the support of others. Thank you for yours x Kelly

  3. Karilee Reply

    April 5, 2016 at 11:41 pm

    “Who knoweth whether thou art come to the kingdom for such a time as this?” Esther 4:14 Courage! Stand firm and undaunted! Stand for truth! This is to all who are facing big pharma/adverse reaction issues head on. I too am sorry to read about your situation. But there is hope. Hold on to it. Speak! Don’t be silenced!

  4. Rachel Reply

    April 5, 2016 at 3:30 pm

    I am sorry to hear of your situation. I don’t feel like you are to blame. You were acting as you were told. What kind of responsibility do those who make the product have? Those who market it? Those who distribute it? It is so unfortunate because the whole accountability, regardless of what we choose, rests on those who very little power to refuse or decline. We live in the 21st Century. I would think that as advance as what our civilization is that there would more options made available for public health than injecting toxic chemicals known to cause brain injury – a custom based on an ancient tradition of sniffing cow pox sores. Thank you for sharing your story.

  5. Christine DiVinere Reply

    April 5, 2016 at 12:16 pm

    I’m so sorry your children were harmed by those toxic concoctions they call vaccines I too fully trusted doctors and the healthcare establishment and also wish others would have spoken up about the dangers of vaccines. It took me awhile to do the rexearch so unfortunately my kids were,pretty much vaccinated with all of the CDC recommendations. Nothing immediate seemed to have come of them however, there have been minor behavior issues that makes me wonder. What other people seem to forget is just because there isn’t an immediate negative outcome, doesn’t mean our vaccinated kids won’t suffer from them in later years with cancer, Alzheimer’s, Parkinson’s, allergies, …. with the huge surge in chronic diseases, my gut tells me vaccines, prescriptions and of course processed foods are crippling our children and ultimately our country! I’ve done so much research myself because I wanted to understand the controversy. I’m so mad at myself for trusting an establishment that says it’s ok to sacrifice those who will die or be crippled for the “greater good”! Why in God’s name could,I have been so brainwashed to put my babies into danger under that ridiculous rhetoric? Majority of the population is asleep and follows the leaders. It’s going to take a lot of effort and books such as yours and “Vaccine Epidemic”, “Dissolving Illusions”, “Vaccine-Nation” and websites like NVIC, Mercola, Weston A. Price will hopefully wake up the masses to the lies and deceit. Keep spread the word!

  6. Joye Reply

    April 5, 2016 at 10:12 am

    I am so sorry your children have suffered from your well intended and medically approved actions for mandatory vaccinations. And although 35 years ago when my children received their vaccinations, I was a nurse and knew only what the medical community brainwashed us to believe. Innately I knew it was wrong and when the Hep B vaccination became required….I knew we were being sold a lie…by the medical community and our industry serving government agencies and politicians. Thankfully my children show no evidence of harm from the vaccinations they received of course then much fewer were required but now I look at everything with a critical eye before accepting anything as the truth. You can trust no one with your and your children’s health. Yes, your water is probably contaminated, yes the food is more harmful than nourishing, yes sunscreens can cause more cancer than they protect, yes the medications cause more health issues than they resolve.

    I have only one grandson but thankfully there will be no vaccination given to him. With my encouragement to read and get to the truth, his parents are smarter and better informed than I was. I hope they don’t repeat my mistakes but it takes so much courage to fight the standard quo…even other parents can be attacking at one’s decision to not vaccine. Public schooling will be another battle to fight for their child’s well being and parental authority to decide.
    He is 15 months and the picture of health…one low grade fever when teething that even resolved itself WITHOUT Tylenol. It takes a brave mother to fight the establishment but with enough research and books like yours I see some light although dimmed by the Big Pharma money and the smoke screen that they pay our greedy self serving politicians.

    I can only hope you receive some comfort that you are helping keep other innocent babies safer by educating the parents.

    • Donna Marquart Reply

      April 5, 2016 at 1:07 pm

      Hurrah !! I too am a grandmother – we have three grandchildren – I have spoken to our daughter about vaccines – and how many more they are pushing since the day when it was just polio and smallpox.

      She and her husband have a 6 month old and we have talked about vaccines HOWEVER, I guess I have not gotten through to them about the harm that could be done with the amt of harmful stuff. Last well-baby visit they pushed a vaccine and something else. They also were pushing It is also bothersome because I have a nephew – with Aspergers – now an adult and functioning well. and a niece whose 13 year old daughter – is severely autistic. It is a topic we do not discuss. It should be. I look forward to viewing the movie Vaxxed which was recently turned down at Tribecca. It is a struggle, but I believe it is one that us grandparents and parents must make some serious decisions about.

  7. David Weiner Reply

    April 4, 2016 at 9:30 am

    The article should say that measles mortality declined by 99% before the vaccine became available, not 90%.

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